~~JoBs & My FeeLings~~

Works...haih...ask me to hit target..in short time??
Mana mungkin o?? But luckily today gt 5sales..left 10 sales...
But i thk oso cant de la...Except if miracle happen lA..
Ahaha...hope so lo...currently i gt 43 Sales...hehe..gdgd..
Den a my manager sumur giv me Incentives Rm200 for my last mth Sales le...
although i cant hit target...beta thn nothg lo...hehe..so Happy~~^^

Today..dear get his result d..ALL PASS o..
Congrats to him..he GRADuate d lo...
But...suddenly i feel sad...coz after tis mayb he wana go UK for his Degree..
Den hw bout me?? Will he leave me??
Last time v use to tok tis issue before...he says he wont leave me here alone de...
Bt nw...would he??

Suddenly i feel so Alone again...Empty~~No Air to breathe...
Why??
I nt so sure...today he whole day oso at Subang...dakei wit his fren thos...din even msg or reply me...
If his fren back here again in Subang...i will feel tat he will spend time wit his fren more again...
Wont even have time for me d....i feel...

Mayb i stil feel tat his care is nt my expectation ba...
Mayb he stil nid more time to find back de old feelings...
Bt everytime i went to his hs...i would c our journey book juz lie ther Untouch....
And everytime i open hope to c sumthg in de last page that might b wrote by him...
Bt everytime my hope juz trash...
Coz it is always empty... :(

Bout de pic...hehe...
ystrdy i sent him a msg on FB ask him can delete ma...
Den dear really delete d o...
hehe..thanks my dear...
Thanks for und my feelings...
Happy now~~

~~MaRiA~~(^^,)

~~FaceBook~~

Today...Damn PISS OFF whn i on9 to FB den saw tat Gal huggin my BF pic AGAIN!!!

DULAN!!!!Is de word tat i can describe my feelin nw...
Y she can lidat hugs other ppl BF n other guys whn her bf is at ther oso...
Haih~~mayb she drunk??mayb she memang wan do tat??or she miang??

F***...my feelings is juz lik 1 go slap her rite in the face...or mayb gv comment at FB scold her!!
Her bf din control her de meh??
Dear duno hw to avoid dun let her hug de meh??
Den evrybody askin...izit she ur gf...tis tat...
Realy DULAN lo...

Haih~~bt u oso dun1 put our pic..wat can i do??
Is nt tat i din try to ask u put..
Bt u feel its ok..den i oso canot say much...
Bt say real de..whn i saw her profile,or his bf profile..
gt put both their pic..i realy jealous de..

Duno la...its no use i quarrel wit u al tis smal matter thg...
U'll juz gonna be frust at me again..n den v'll be lik last time lidat AGAIN!!

I DONT WANT!!coz i feel tat we r happy now n hope for it to be better de...
So i juz 1na try to control myself nia...
Mayb its end of de mth d oso...Aunty cumin visit..make my mood no gd..
Sory dear..if at tis time i MANG ZHANG or sumthg...Pls dun angry me...

Bt i realy CANT STAND when i c tat gal do lik tis...haih~~
I oso wont lidat la if i go club...coz i noe i gt Bf...Duh~~so moody nw..

Sumur today manager ask to hit target in tis 4days...
Mana mungkin o...Giv tat stupid package..juz left 4days oni ma...
ma waived de ADMIN la..say canot pula...
if nt i gt 3sales d la today...
if gt female sign up today den may cum oni noe admin waived for females i more kena Scold..
No brain de manager le...

Bless me i can hit la..so i can earn more money oso...
den can oso tat sum1 to achieve de thg he wan...^^

Bless Me~~GOD~~^^

~MaRiA~ ^^

~My PrEcIOuS Hp~

Sad~sad~sad~ is de oni words i can describe hw i feel bout my precious hp...
Haih~~y la suddenly wan spoil..
I took care of u so gd..y 1 suddenly spoil...
U make me lost all my notes, sound clip n msgs tat he leave for me...
I cant find back all thos things anymore if I format u.:'(

Yesterday i at Sunway Pyramid..tot juz wan u to be ok den send giv de ppl do de..
Mana tau..ur online ok..bt msgs.notes music evrythg cant goin until nw...
haih~~sad dao me whn de ppl say wana format u oni can ok...
All my thgs will lost...
Bt my notes is inside...al is dear left for me de...
How can i recover back...
Haih~~i realy so REGRET!!!tat i let u gv tat ppl fix...
Nw i rather dun1 on9 so i can recover my thgs...
I cry at tat time whn de ppl say 1 format u...

Haih~~Bt i have to format..coz if nt..u realy canot b use again~~

I go home jiu faster backup ur file d...
Hope everythg backup d la...dun1 to lost de important thgs inside...:(

Notes...Msgs...Sound Clips..u al are important for me...Sob~~sob~~

Bt yesterday..i gt to go out wit dear le...den sumur stay his hs on SAt...so happy...
So long din wit dear d...
Bt i spoil it whn i cry ther bout my hp...
Sory Dear..juz cant stand whn thk dao de documents wil lost lidat...
All is u giv me de le...
i cant lose it~~Its bout us...
Dear giv me de msgs..notes..sound clip v record..mms u sent me...
All is precious to me de....

Dun WANNA LOSE IT!!!
haih~~

~~Cant OnLine~~

So shit le...tis few days i cant on9 wit my mobile....
Life bcum miserable at work..coz time pass so slow...
Ask de repair man d..nid rm40 to fix my phone...
Already pokai sumur nid money...
can fix free bt tat seller i bought from at Subang pula...
NO TRANSPORT GO!!!
Argh~~~fix my hp d,all thg jiu lost d..notes from him,our sound clip...
Duno hw to maintain de notes...its about our journey lai de ma..haih~~

Cant on9 means cant play facebook,cant write blog...so sien...
Bt whn i on9..saw sumthg tat i dun lik...
SAW HIS CLUBBING PIC WIT FRENS...FUCK!!AT BARCELONA~~
Not say i wan jealous although i noe tats his Heng Dai gf huggin him take pic...
Bt..pls la..she hav bf d..y muz she lidat...
If me i oso wont lidat la pls...hugs other guy n take pic lik ownself no bf lidat...
Haih~~u oso will angry la...

I duno tat he act would be more happy goin clubbing wit his frens thn me..
haih~~watever la...
I thk i ok wit de condition now...dun wanna make a fuss...out of it..
DAMN HER!!!!!

Workin at club..is ok...
bt whn cum to de sales time...hard lo...
i nid too hit 56 units tis mth to gt my BONUS!!!!
Bt nw juz left 1WEEKS nia le...
stil nid around 15 units lidat le...
Ppl..outsider...faster cum find me to join member...(HOPE)
hehe^^

Jia you~jia you~~^^

~MARIA~

~~UsEd To It~~

Well~~i think i used to how u treat me d ba..
Din msg me de whole day~~din cal me~~
oni tis few days at nite u cal me...
din tel me wher u go or wat~~

Used to it d..means i oso wont so worry if u din tel me...
al depends to u whether u wana tel me or not...
if not oso i'm ok...
Haih~~i duno la...bt i tot a bf shud at least msg her gf to tell him wherabout al thos...care for her de...
bt all tis thg i din c it on u anymore....
although i used to it...but stil will feel sad...

ystrdy i took a quiz in FB..title..does ur bf realy love u??
Result:Sometimes, your gut feeling is wrong! He so does have something for you.He's a keeper! Just don't do anything stupid, okay?

Wow..i wanted so much to believe it...bt juz time will prove it...n hope tat u realy can prove it to me...

Today...so boring...no sales...bt stil have to hit TARGET le tis month to get my bonus...
ARgh!!! So stress....1na go for a holiday~~~

All de best in ur match today ya...muz careful o...^^

~~MaRiA~~^^

~~WaT Am I ThInKin~~

Ysterdy meet u n v go out...everythg seems so perfect if i din mention bout de issue we r facing...
Bt~~can i juz keep on stand go down...??without hurting myself??
I duno la...whn i back home...hope tat everythg wont end so fast..time dun pass so fast..cos i jus wan to be by ur side..
dear cal me ystrdy whn i din reply u...so long...after wat had happen..my hp gt ur record d...happy...

Bt today...no cal or msgs from u again..cal u juz nw..bt u say u busy..ltr cal me...
again~~i waited..no cals or msgs from u~~
haih~~
5sumthg..i cal again..tis time u answer..i noe u r playin dota..den i say dear~ltr 7sumthg u cum pick me k..u say c 1st..nw dakei..
Y muz say c 1st if u realy 1meet me..if last time..u sure say ok de..without hesitate..
Is nt tat i dun let u ply..jus tat u oso ply whole dy d ma..n oni sat sun i off work early..am i wrong?

De issue...i realy canot tok wit u ma??
if tok wit u,u will be vry frust on me d izit??
bt..if i din tok..i suffer here...:(

God~~dunola...wat shud i do?? wat can i do??

~~Maria~~(*.*)

~After de WAITIN~

I realy so stupid wait for ur cal til midnite..whn i cal u..u din answer..whn i msg..u din reply..i jus Wait~

Ther's is no answer from u even whn i went 2sleep..b4 i sleep i sent a msg to ask u out ystrdy..bt u din reply..

I wait til de nxt dy mornin tat is ystrdy..no reply from u..i cal so so so many time..cal til lik my hp low batt..no single word from u..
I hav to find ur fren n ask them how r u..wher u..
Thy tel me ur car spoil..i so worry..bt..u din even answer my cal..
Thy oso tel me u went club ystrdy nite..haih..
If i say..u sure say me i can go,bt u canot go..say i nt fair treat u lidat..
Bt whn i go i tel u,did u tel me..no!!i cal u jus dun1 answer..
Den i ask u ystrdy nite..u tel me u dakei sumur 1bluff me..y la dear..y?izit u 1our relationship is full of lies..ther's no security in it..i trusted u..y muz u bluff me..haih..i worry u til i almost went to subang to find u..i jus tot can spend my off day wit u,cos u finish ur exam d..bt..it jus another same old day without u..

Den 2dy..ur coll gt event..i realy tot i can go wit u to hav fun..i even ask for leave..n oso cal u earlier,Again!din answer my cal..den tel me u on highway d..i cal u tat time mayb u saw..den u dun1 let me follow den dun1 answer my cal...cos ystrdy i ask u,u wish me can go ma?u say as i lik..realy sad to hear it..if last time u sure say "i so wish my dear can go"..haih..duno la..

Mayb u realy hate me so much for keep on 1follow u..u rather wit ur fren than wit me..tats wat i thk..my perception..bt i duno hw u thk..cos whn i ask u always reply me den,so,hw,haih..tis few answer..i can even answer for u..

Wat u 1me to do to gain back ur faith on me?
Wat u expect from me sumur?
I d giv u de time n space u needed..
I noe its my fault to go club without u last time..i realy insaf..
I promised u..tat i wont go without u anymore..n i realy din go..mayb u feel tat i wil bluff u again ba..haih..
Bt whn u go,u oso nvr tel..
Izit u 1me die d,den oni u wil trust me?

I hate our situation nw..it seems lik ther's a great wall between us..i realy duno hw long can i stand b4 i can break de wall..

Haih..duno la..heartache..
So tired me 2dy..jus went for 3class continuously..3hours continuously..at least i gt de swt out of me..can slim o..hehe..

Pray al de best wil happen 2our relationship n my work..

~Maria~(+.+)

~~WaIT~~

Today is ur last day exam...i dun even noe wat time u exam finish..
and after ur exam u din even giv me a call or msg..its such a heartache..
juz nw i cal u..u answer n say juz after finish play ball..n say wil msg me ltr..
will u??i duno..v'll c ltr..

y muz u b so cruel n delete our pic in ur frenster...haih~~
u make me feel lik i'm nt part of u anymore...y muz u do tat...
y cant v juz lik other couple b happy whn v're together..
haih~~my heart ache nw..whn i mention bout hw u treat me..
A person who so love me in de past would let me suffer lidat in de present...

God bless me to b strong!!plS!!
I thk i almost wan sick jor..haih..whole day feel cold n headache...:<

Maria ~_~

~YoU'rè My EVERYTHING~(*-*)

I thought i can forget for wat u done 2hurt me..cos i love u..
I thought tat i can realy forgive u bcos i care for u..
I thought of never wantin 2let u go,cos i jus wanna b wit u..
I thought n give u de space n time u needed..
I thought tat after all i thought to give u,
We can start it all over again live happily ever after...

But now seems lik i'm wrong..
Now oni i noe tat everything is jus my empty hope..
Jus my own perception..
Jus~Only me who want to cont tis relationship~~
Jus oni me tat appreciate you..
Jus me ownself thk tat v'll b beta after al de barrier v past..
Am i right?
I dun have al de answer to de question i ask..
Cos u never want to tel me when i ask..

You confuse me wit your acts,
You make me feel lik i'm alone although i have you..
You make me feel lik i'm jus a Burden for u..
Our title is lik a couple..but our relationship is jus lik a fren..
I tot i can cope wit it..cos i thk tis relationship stil can b save,
bt act i cant..
It brokes my heart into pieces when i saw our pic,
Saw our notes,
Saw our meeting place,
Saw our msgs,
Heard our songs..
Thk of wat u said 2me b4,
Thk of de promises u make 2me,
All of thos small little thgs tat remind me of us~~

U told me u 1freedom,bt i nvr restrict u 2hav it..
I nvr ask u 2b wit me 24/7,
Instead its hard 4us 2meet also although v jus stay near each other..
U 1na b "Alone" is wat u tel me whn u wan to leave me..
Its heartache whn i heard u tel me tat...

I wanted to b ur shelter when u feel unsafe out ther,
I wanted to borrow u my shoulder when u nid it,
I wanted to giv u a big warm hug when u realy stress,
I wanted to jus b ur listener when u nid sum1 to tok to..
All i ever wanted is to giv u EVERYTHING i can do for u when i'm not by ur side..
But u dun even 1na giv me a chance to do it..

I jus ask for a simple request..
Jus wan u to care for me a little bit more..
Jus ask u to love me a little bit more..
Jus include me in ur life..
For de reason I realy do love u,n u stil care for me...
I dun1 jus bcos of sum stupid reason,v let go tis relationship
Tat used 2b treasured by both of us...
Tat used to b keepin alot of sweet memories inside...
Tat used to b jus for us...
Jus for de reason tat your love is my everything...

I love you my dear~~
Never once u're out of my heart although v were apart...

Love,
Maria..(~_~,)

~STORMY HEART No SUNSHINE AT ALL~

My heart feel so heavy,so dark til i barely can breath..barely can take it up..ther's no sunshine..or sumone tat can cheer my heart up..realy very heavy..lik something pulling it from de bottom..

Jus now i went for spinning class at my club,de instructor on a song by Blue title if you come back,.i heard tat song d..my heart..realy jus cryin inside.,even i did shed a few tears..i keep thkin..izit i realy did wrong in de past..til dear cant b lik last time lidat?i realy jus keep thkin..thkin n thkin..

I jus can say.,i wil try my best to give dear de time n space dear need..i und tat nxt week is dear de final in last sem d..i und ur stress tat u go thru..forgive me if during tis time i disturb u..bt i jus tot want u to release ur stress for awhile..

I dedicate lee hom song title EVERYTHING to dear..hope tat dear can gt out of ur stress..dear..from de moment v together til now.,i already put you in my heart til now n you're my everything..

Wish dear al de best in ur final..miss ya here all de time..

Love, ♥
Maria..(-_-,)

~GlOoMy DaY~

Today..realy no mood 1na do anythg..even at work i jus sit down n on9..din even make cal from de moment i work til nw..why?

I feel so down 2dy..cos of dear again..ystrdy.,i went 2kl.,i even pack my thg n tot cumback tat time can stay at dear hs de..whn i at coll tat time..so hope de time faster past n i can meet dear de..at last..de interview over..i rush to lrt 2catch up de 1st train..while inside.,i jus keep thk dear..hope 2c u soon,my heart was so happy at 1st.Tot dear wil b happy 2saw me..

Bt after de call i made 2u..i oni found out..act u nt tat 1na c me de..i duno whether is tis is oni my thkin alone..percept dear lidat..dear say ltr u gt clas den gt play ball sumur..say scare i boring..i noe..bt it doesnt matter to me..realy..cos wat i nid is jus c dear..whn de moment dear say ask me go back..stil gt nxt time..my heart realy jus drop..smile is nt in my face anymore..bt jus tears fallin down..dear say til lik i go ther realy annoyin 4u..say til lik i realy wil disturb u do ur thg..keep ask me back home no matter hw much i tel dear i jus realy 1c him..den i realy dun1 let dear noe i cry,ltr u dun lik den i jus off de phone..

Dear msg me say scare i borin..den i jus try al my best 2thk positive n try 2reply dear in happy mode..bt dear jus reply me 2msg..den at nite 7sumthg..i msg dear ask him 2careful whn ply ball..dear say din ply d..den i jus say if i noe den i go find dear,bt dear say nvrmind..haih.. Den i say la,if last time dear sure disappointed de,if cant c me..dear jus haih..ask me dun lidat.. Den i try to b happy by askin dear send me a bubble msg jus say i miss u..is tat hard..bt u gv me reason..say u duno..say u 1na sleep.,u straight away tel me la..dun1,at least i wont so hurt..bt u say u 1na nap til msg me oso din hv at nite..lik 1na avoid wat i askin u 2do...haih..dun thk i stupid la k..tat time oni wat time..7sumthg u tel me u 1sleep..den..nonit wake up eat a?bath a?

I duno wats tat means..bt i jus noe it realy hurts for me..whn u do lidat..

Frens ask me 2jus b patient..if i do love u..yes.,i do love dear..bt my heart is oso fragile..hw long can i stand lidat..v've been together for 6dys d..since last fri after our lenjing time..bt til nw.,i stil feel tat ur nt wit me,.haih..dear..i~realy duno wat 2say d..my heart jus feel so down..al i ask is jus tat u care for me a little more..2dy..1msg oso dear din send me.,i jus cal u in de mornin..

Dear..ur final cumin..pls study hard k..wish dear al de best..so bad tis mth dear de final fall on 13th..cant celebrate wit u..

Wish dear pass wit flying colors in ur last sem..

Love,
Maria-shadowfax