Tuesday, September 28, 2010

InspiRation-Everything Reminds Me of You

One of the blog I saw from Owl city blog..meaninful and decide to paste it here...

Everything Reminds Me of You-http://owlcityblog.com/
On September 27th, 2010 by Adam Young

Dizzy.

That’s how you feel when you run into a significant other you haven’t seen in a long time. A bitter avalanche of icy memories plows into your chest at breakneck speed, stealing the very breath from your lungs. Gasping for air, there’s really no use fighting it; the blow is instantaneous and it’s overpowering. Your eyes land on this person, your heart immediately stops dead, your knees go weak and you internally panic. You force yourself to walk over, but before either of you say hello, you’ve already got an endless amount of things you secretly want to say and an equally lengthy list of questions you wish you could ask.

What affection the two of you once shared was absolutely beautiful, consequently rendering any unanticipated meetings thereafter twice as awkward. But as everyone always reminded you, life has a way of operating, God has a mysterious way of working, and sometimes things change without a moment’s warning. Even after it was all said and done, it’s still hard to imagine how things could’ve ever evolved from “always” to “never” in what seemed like a single dramatic heartbeat.

Months and months later, you run into this particular person unexpectedly and the realization hits you like a brick wall. The pain is still there. It’s almost as painful as the night you said goodbye. Enough time has passed to con you into thinking you’ve begun to heal, and of course you probably have, but then you see this person and suddenly those old familiar aches begin to hurt all over again. You were finally beginning to mend after what happened, the relationship withered and ended, however dramatically, but the moment you lock eyes with this person you once shared so many dreams with, your stomach turns and a bitter taste fills your mouth. You can barely breathe. Half of you aches for things to be the way they once were, the other half longs to forget the whole thing ever happened. Regardless of your role in the conclusion of the relationship, it left you shattered and bringing it up after all this time would only pour another dose of potent heartbreak for both of you.

So there you are, standing face-to-face, unsure of what to say aside from the typical small talk jabber. A myriad of emotions swirl through both your heads but they only make former lovers more confused. Maybe you hug an awkward I-haven’t-seen-you-in-forever gesture, but that familiar mixed scent of perfume and cologne makes it even more impossible to know how to act, brief as the impending conversation inevitably will be. You just can’t stop thinking “things will never be the way they used to be” and that’s what hurts most. You both know where your identities lie, Who ultimately claims your hearts and where your fortresses are… and those things are truly what matter most, but this unforeseen meeting is still severely painful and there’s no denying that. It keeps you both awake for nights.

As healing as it is, you can only drive around at night listening to The Swiss Army Romance so many times.

This is me being honest. I tossed and turned a lot last week. I thought about someone so much it was unhealthy.

So here’s hoping I fall asleep easier tonight if I send a simple message out into the void:

Boy,

I still care about you. I think about you all the time. I’m praying for you constantly. I want so badly to know you’re being taken care of. I wish you the best in life, not because you’ll surely find it, but because you deserve it. You deserve so much.

I just wish you knew how much I miss you.

Maria


I realy hope u noe Hw much I stil misses U...=(

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

C.o.m.e A.c.r.o.s.S



Have you ever come across a person which he may leave a very deep impact on your life??
Almost immediately you feel there is no 1 else lik him d?
Unless that's him~Only that particular him can giv u this feeling.


Only him can put de smile on your face,
Only him can giv U de calm whn U needed it the most,
Whn U hear his voice, all ur stress automatically jus vanish, & smiles will be on ur face,

Whn U cal him, de conversation between both of U jus never-ending,

U hope it can cont forever lik tis..

Wherever U go, U jus wish that "How Good if He was here right nw".

Whatever U C, U wanted to buy him 1 as well no matter wat.
Whenever U are alone, U wanted him to be ther,

Whenever de phone rings, de 1st name u wish to c was his name,
Whenever U are, Ur heart jus keep thking bout him or sumtimes he may accidentally pop out..he jus gives ur stomach the butterly feeling.


Whn U listen to de song that use to be his fav, U jus keep play it in repeating mode,

Thking hw he say he lik de song n U jus hate it, bt nw u jus loves it, cos its his fAV~

Thkin back de joke he used to tell U, Pattern he use to show U,

U jus realy wan thos Scenario to happen again...
But U noe al that would never could happen again~~

All U left nw, was only the memories he left behind for U,
Kept tightly, deepy in Ur heart...
Open it whn U realy realy miss him...and den cry as hard as U can to ease Ur yearn toward him~ No 1 noes, no 1 sees, no 1 feel,
Only You alone knows it de best!!!


YES..I came across such a person, n he become a person that realy leaves a impact so deep,
I just couldn't rub it off~~

3months over, U found Ur happiness, bt I'm stil de same old me..missing You so badly~~
Guess forever U wouldnt know~:(

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

~~Time Flies~~

Left 3more days before we officially say goodbye to Opal One,Sheffield...
Summer Gone...Autumn is here!!!^^
Feels lik it jus yesterday we jus reach here, everythg was stil new, we stil feel lik an alien to to tis place,
Bt nw we used to it d, we hav to say goodbye...
Tis place realy leave us alot memories....
Happy, Sad, Angry, 8gua, Gossip here n ther, n also a place wher we realy learn de darkest secret of the ppl we dun noe, or noe bt rarely und thm....

Today was de 1st final paper...n yet I got a feeling I'm gonna fail...>.<
I regreted i din study early for all de sub which make me din memorise de point...So heartache!! Bt..its over...its time to focus on another paper for tis thurs...
Jus now...All de unneccessary thg was pack into a box and sent back to msia...nw my room was lik so empty....
So reluctant to c it...>.<

I jus love tis room, loves here, loves de space, loves de weather..almost everythg bout here...
Bt sadly we cant stay!!!
Argh~~hoping we could stay longer....3mths...y it flies so fast....All De Sweet Puzzle Will Come To an End Soon~

Argh!!Jus dun1 leave here...:(

Saturday, August 21, 2010

去年的这一天

去年的这一天,这个时间,
我们还在一起谈天,谈的好快乐,
陪你度过你的生日~

我真的很很想念去年的这一天~
但我知道,你已经有另一半陪在你身边陪你度过这一天~
我祝福你和她永远的快乐幸福~~

Tis day 21st August 2010 n I'm here at UK thinkin back last yr tis day~~how happy we were tat time, chit chatting away in Steven Corner n only me accompany u to pass 12am for ur bday.
After tat u fetch me back n promise that we'll come out tomoro for movie which is de day we gt together in the cinema....watching District 9~~

I miss you,
I miss that moments,
I miss this day,
I miss evrythg bout you,
You were so perfect that I feel i was too lucky to have You,
But here I Realistically realize You're nt mine anymore,
You got sum1 else to accompany you to celeb ur bday d,
Everythg is about her already...

I giv up,
I let go,
Silently I cried,
Jus to pour out hw much i realy misses u al by myself!!

I tot tis few mths I'm here I tot i can toughly let u go,
and make it like I dun miss u~
Bt den I knew its almost impossible,
Everytime...no matter I sees a person personality similar wit u,
Our picture,
Your video,
Thgs u teach me,
Your fav thg,brand,
Automatically reminds me of you~
Tears will be at de end of the eyes....:'(

I never noe tat u'll leave such an impact on me~~
Till evrytime i starts to drop tears for u~~
Tis is hw much u impact me!!Its indefinite~~

No matter wat!!I stil have to accept the truth although it realy stab me fuckin hard on my heart!!
I cherish both of u to have happy live and live happily all the way~~

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I ♥My Bdayyy ♥ =D

Here's de best part....Its my bday & i'm celebrating it @ UK....hw great was tat???
I have nothg to ask that could be beta than tis opportunity to celeb here....

Gotta say a great great thanks to all my frens here who celebrated for me.....especially my dear dear fren TAN YOKE SAN who work so hard to bluff me...ahaha...thanks alot~~XD

Thanks to Evon, Kahoe, Heok, Kah Hing, David, Heng Siang, Lan ing, WK,L, JL...for de 1st party celebration....^^
We ate our dinner @Zing Vaa, a chinese restaurant where the rice is free flow....OMG!!its a great news for thos gentlemen...cos food is lik gold to thm...where they can eat unlimited rice....
De dish was awesome....^ I'm addicted to de "Pai Kut"...OMFG....Its fuckin delicious...argh....=D

After de dinner...thy wanna bluff me to Evon hs lagi...ahaha...I realy tot of havin a chat o sumthg...bt mana tau...go til de door ther....Blackcurrant cheese cake is waiting for me & thy sing Bday song.....
Ahaha....WOW~~~wat a suprise which i nvr expected...^^ TQ so much.....& oso de lovely pink pyjamas for my present.....I ♥ it la....!!!!!

Hehe~~den back to room....& den my dear Jonathan says ther's discussion for de assigns.....& again go to Cheng hs for discussion...
Tis time realy gt trick by TYS again...cos of her perfect acting skills...which act tat she darn tired....complain tis n tat...bt act she noes evrythg....XD

Bt mana tau say discussion go ther tok cock oni for tat half n hour n Yee Sing which bday falls on de same day wit me oso come up...weird...evry1 wants to discuss de assigns in Cheng kitchen....ahaha....

Den Off~~de room was dark~~& den come la...Happy bday to u....happy bday to u~~~
Cake come in....another suprise party from Jonathan,Cheng, Meiyi, William, Huat, Wendy, Sok li for me n Yee Sing....shock!!!ahaha....bt its a great 1....
Gd plannin by Jon & Ys~~XD

We gonna have a grand buffet tomoro evening....hehe...wee~~^^

Lastly....Happy bday to myself.....a great celebration bday in UK!!!
Wat else can I ask for????=D

Thursday, June 24, 2010

WAKE UP!!!!!

Duno y sudenly i feel myself nt in reality lidat....
I'm in UK...although ady almost 3weeks here....i still dun believe...
Y ha....??
Bt sudenly when we're after dinner...YS say dun u feel sad we stil hav 2more mths here oni...
Ya....sudenly i feel like...ya ha...abit sad...dun feel lik goin bak M'sia...
Although i realy miss my family n frens in m'sia...
Bt here seems lik a fresh start of evrythg...rite??

Helo...Maria...pls wake up lo ok!!!
U're at UK d....wat u thkin sumur??
Treasure tis moment more than anythg else....
Gt a Degree & make ur parents proud of u!!!
& den enjoy life den bak Msia find a gd job & start to pay up ur debt!!!Argh...de hardest part!!
Ahaha.....tats de cycle of life rite???XD

Emo~I've been living in tat world too long....
I can gt up...bt depend on myself whether i want o nt oni...
Bt den after Ys told me de details...
I shud gt up nw & move on!!!Shudnt put too much at 1st...shud have listen to my fren..
Nw...I shud~~
Nt to look back cos i had a better future waiting for me...
Nt to put too much cos i noe at de end, de suffer one would be me again....
I dun wan it to happen again..It's lik a endless dark world...that covers all over me..Fuck!!!

So~~Maria,U shud noe wat u shud do nw rite??
Gt ur fatty ass up & start walkin to de future..pls...
Ahaha...Thanks to my dear fren who und me.....support me....realy thanks...touch...
Cos thy've been thru all de rough moment with me...
Thanks alot Yok-Ke-San!!!XD

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Love Game

Love game is a vry dangerous to play with especially when its concern with ur heart.
So v jus gotta be very careful in tis game....

De 1st & de most important rule is : Never Fall In Love easily!!
( Damn!!!Bt I always fail to do so)

Argh....I jus wanted to be happy for once...pls...do let me....
Dun torture me ok ma....
Jus let me go if u're nt so into me...pls~~
I scare of fallin into tis trap again n again...
Oni my frens noe hw hard it is for me to stand up again...
So...pls let me...stay away from de hole longer....

I wanted to love u more,
Show u more~~
Bt I'm scare~~realy...
U made me feel insecure wit ur acts...
Damn!!! I jus hate myself rite nw...realy...
Miss u...bt i noe i canot put too much in...
Den i suffer myself here....Wonderin hw u feel...>.<

Friday, June 11, 2010

Discomfort

I dun care,
I dun wanna noe,
I dun wanna feel,
I dun wanna hear,
I dun wanna see,
I dun wanna noe anythg bout u anymore.....
It jus makes me suffer.....
I tot wit tis thinkin i had let u go....bless u...

Bt whn ur news appear in my fb page stated " Au went from being "single" to "in a relationship."
Suddenly...I feel so gloomy, so down....
I cant help myself to comment wrote the congrats words to u~~
After tat all I wanna do is jus cry in de rain....so tat no 1 can noe wat im feelin nw....
Thkin mus u do tat??
Bt I noes u well,u mus had found her oni u decide to change de status,
Last time whn we're together u nvr change....
She wil be ur future d....

I smile as happy as possible,
I laugh as hard as I can,
I be who I wanna be which is me,
I found back de old me,
Bt y....whn its bout u, i become so weak....
I noe deep down thr will always be u inside....jus I din show it out....

Whn de world thks tat I'm realy happy wit +ve attitude,
Bt Im de oni 1 who noe hw I feels inside....

All I can do is jus bless u,wish u n her both happy....All de best in ur work as well....
Pls take care....she'll be ther to take care of u as well...Who am I to worry rite??

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Dream Come True^^

Its Sun morning in Sheffield nw....
I stil dun believe i act at UK d....

Jus lik 2days ago i'm stil in M'sia...bt nw..UK...
I miss my family back ther...& oso frens...
We have time difference of 7hours so i'm stil trying to adapt....
Its oni fries,chic all meat here to eat..gosh....
Ystrdy eat a pack of maggi mee wit de prawn paste my mum made...Yummy....although its jus a simple 1...misses my mom cook as well...>.<

Ahaha...however de life here is lik peaceful quiet...with de cold weather which I love it vry much...^^
We gonna start our orientation tomoro....den we got de chance to look at our Uni~~hehe...abit excited about it...

De thg here r lik damn cheap if we're earning de salary here....cos its lik oni 2-3pound for 1 clothes...if u can find it...
Its a shoppin heaven here.....cos i jus bought Britney Spears 100ml perfume for oni 19.90 pound le....which equal to RM 100 lo....so its quite worth it la....=D

The scenery here is wonderful...abit feel dun1 go back tim....=D

Argh...my camera gt no memory card reader....nw i oso duno hw...de pic inside canot transfer to comp...damn...seems lik i jus gotta use my hp to take pic....haih~~so sad....>.<
Dun hav cable o anythg...damn dao~~

Its oni 7.30 am here....n i canot sleep d...evry1 seem wake up to on9~~ahaha....
Nvrmind..its SUN...we gonna explore more about Sheffield ltr....

Thursday, May 20, 2010

少了一个人

朋友聚会吵闹的快乐 在她们离开以后变稀薄
走路回家 回像山洞的窝 突然渴望有人 能来接我
泡著热水在浴室赖著 思念却也被滚烫冒烟了
最后的简讯 看到能背了 多久没有再联络 一想还是痛

少了一个人宠爱我
朋友的爱 成分就是不同
最难过 是笑著面对被羡慕自由
练很久的成熟 也快遮掩不住 寂寞

妈妈在电话裏挂念我 上次欲言又止她还记得
喜欢装没事 其实最累了 但我清楚很多事 哭了也没用

少了一个人拥抱我
那种拥抱 能够忘了所有
两个人 就算下雪后赤脚逆著风
也不觉得冰冻 还笑得比阳光 炽热

少了一个人懂得我
能够体会 我倔强又脆弱
不记仇 温柔原谅我情绪太波动
用泪光舍不得 融化我累积的 寂寞
很固执 无条件爱我从来没变过
在大吵的时候 会抱著我 沉默 不动

Really misses u so much~~haih~~=(

你找到幸福了

You're happy cos u've found ur happiness
b4 I go,u already gt urself a new one...
Bt yet I'm stil here hangin although I clearly noe u'll nvr come bak to me...
U realy turn so fast till i nvr gt a chance to react...

Wat i regret de most is I already knew the prob bt yet I so insist on goin on,nvr tok bout tis matter...
I angry de most is that u didnt even giv me a 2nd chance to make tis relationship right~~& straight away jump to the other person...

She's de one u love nw...
She would gt all de attention she nid from u nw...
She gt ur care...
She oso have ur love...

Bt y...whn u say we r nt in de same path...u so sure that she's in de same path wit u??
Doesnt we oso been thru de way u treating her nw??
Dont we oso have happy moments for u to remember??
Y u had to be so cruel towards me??
De way u treating me nw is nt de way u make me angry so tat i can leave u early...,
It jus make me more sad & left oni sour memories that i can gain from here...realy...>.<

Even ur sis started to treat me tat way...Fierce to me...
Lik I'm de one who betray this relationship...
Am I nw??
Who turn his back on me & ran to others whn I realy Loves him & needed him de most??
Y am I treated lidat??
I gt no choice bt to stand tough~~
Whn i go bak i feel so stress to face her...
I rather bak late...or if u're ther oni i bak...

Nvrmind al tat I told myself...
Thgs are diff from de past nw...
I noe i have to move on by myself...
I noe i canot rely on u anymore...although i realy nid it...
I Stil have my dear family & frens wit me...

Bt..i realy wanted to let u noe...I realy put in 101% into this relationship~~=(
My fren told me...nvr put in 100% if de relationship is nt more thn a Year...I guess its a lesson...

Friday, May 7, 2010

♥那么近却又那么远的感觉

As a fren was wat u told me u wanna be~~
I couldnt realy accept it,yet i mus force myself to accept tat tis is de truth happening.
I saw u was much happier lidat, I feel happy,
Bt same time I feel sad y u can let it go so fast & easy~~
Dear no sad whn u decide tis decision ma??
Is there realy no love for me from u??

U started to drink again...
Bt wit ur colleague which is gal~~
I noe i already have no right to be jealous o angry.
Bt tat's exactly wat i'm doin whn u say u wan go movie, dinner wit thm.
I would thk y dear last time wit me canot lidat, bt y nw...
Haih~~oni dear noe de answer...
If I'm was de one who do tat go out wit guys would dear feel sad ma??

My heart feel heavy day by day when de day pass~~
Cos i noe i'm leavin you soon...
I realy dont hope it would pass so fast...
I noe i have to learn de hard way to let u go~~
Bt I'm afraid dear...I so scare....
Although u told me u wil stil care for me.
Bt after all tis will u contact me???
I nvr wanna lose contact wit u~~

Tis few days i consider myself vry clever d...cos i manage to nt cal dear during my free time...which last time i always did...
Its awkward, cos usually i wil cal dear if anythg...tellin u al de exciting thg happen..bt nw i cant d...
I jus have to keep it to myself...

I feel so suffer...bt yet i noe tis is de step i nid to take cos I ♥ You.
I noe all u did was nt to let me put hope on u~~
Bt u noe its impossible...
All i wish was jus tat we spend tis few weeks happily & then we recover from our past~~
I nvr expect u'll leave me as I stil gt alot of thg I wanna do with u together hand in handin future....
I always convince myself tat " We jus met at the wrong timing, Path was nt de same as we aim for different thgs "

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

~Sending U Off to Work❤~

28/4/10

8am in de morning~~
I've sent u to work lik I always do last time...
I jus love tat feelings...cos v can chat, talk rubbish, have a great laugh b4 u go work.
After u went down the lift, I'll peek u through de window to c u went into car til u drove away~~
Bt since i worked, I nvr gt de chance to do tat again...cos i leave early den u to work.

Ystrdy i went to drink wit wit whole bunch of frens...
Cos i jus thk tat...whn i drunk den i can forgt evrythg~~
Bt seems lik it doesnt works...although is jus half way drunk,I wil stil thk of u & wat u've said to me~~
Tears uncontrolably drip again~~

I woke up feelin so dizzy & have de feeling of wanna vomit...
Cos i din take my dinner & jus drink...
Dear ask me to take MC,bt i tot it will be ok...after took my bath..feel so sick den i jus sleep bak...
Dear ask me "U drink alot ystrdy??gt take ur dinner ma???"
I realy happy to hear tat u wil stil care bout me...

I wanna went off to sleep...bt mind jus keep on processing...memories keep scanning through~~I jus decide to wake up on9~~
If last time de me...surely sleep d.bt nw...i almost have a hard time to sleep...>.<

Evey now & then, whenever I'm so free...my heart wil lingers bak to u~~
All thgs bout u will scan thru again~~
I realise hw much I ♥ You, Hw important U r in my heart.

Monday, April 26, 2010

~It Changes From Becoming My Everythg To Nothg~

24/4/10

Everythg was so normal whn u fetch me bak Klg in de morning,
I stil cal u, to ask bout ur work evrythg...
Stil in de status of a gf to u~~
Bt midnite whn i' singin k with my fren...u jus send me a msg & say tat u canot commit in to tis relationship as your heart stil gt her.

That 1 lil msg realy SLAP me HARD,STAB thru my HEART!!
My whole heart become so heavy~~,
My Foot steps become heavier everytime i walk a step,
Feelings was so messy at tat time i dun even have de energy to talk anymore jus cry~~
I tot u were jus too tired so u wan a rest,bt after al tis 8mth+ u told me, its cause of her stil inside ur heart,
I nvr blame u, as i understood its nt easy to forgt de 8yrs relationship that u've expected to gt married wit her tis yr,
Bt nw oni i noe tat u've nvr realy open ur heart to let me in,
wat I am to u al tis while???

We tok it through de nxt day, oni i noe tat she sits deep in ur heart which u cant jus pluck it out.
U say u dun1 to be unfair to me,as u cant realy commit into tis relationship & cant giv me wat i want.
Al u say was right bout me, I nvr realy want to admit that i'm suffer in this relationship although in de early time i had notice tis prob.
All i thk was u is my 1st priority whn i thk of sumthg,
All i thk was she's ur past, wat important nw is i'm wit u~& i wanna cherish al de moment tat v could spent together.
I will try my best to make tis relationship works & same time i giv u bak de Happy memory.
Evrytime i jus dun have de guts to tel u de prob tat i facing wit u cos u jus dun have de time for al tat,u were jus too tired to even have de time for tis miscelanneos prob.
So i jus rather i keep it to myself & hope tat evrythgs jus go fine.
Bt seems lik im wrong, if early we jus tok bout it, will it end up lidat??

U say whn u on Fb de other nite & u saw my profile pic which stated

" I ❤ TAZ "
, All u thk was u scare she saw tis. U dun1 to let her noe, u already have others, which it hurts so much to me.

U told me u realise tis prob very long d,jus u dun hav de guts to told me,
de more i treat u gd, de more stress u are cos u feel tat u cant giv me wat i wan.
All u wan nw is jus alone to calm down evrythg, which i realy scare of hearing it.
Thos were de words tat my ex told me whn he wanna break.

All ur world revolves about her,
De pillow u hugging, tat nite oni i noe tat she's act sleep on tat, tats y u cant even let me touch it.
I knew ur hp al along oso gt her pic inside,
U nvr stored our pic inside ur hp,
De lil gal u took pic wit, u were so happy cos u told me u n her use to very lik lil gal, & she was exactly look alike lik de lil gal u n her want to hav.

Nw our relationship is jus lik stranger where i can feel tat whn u face me u feel so stress, cos i was so down to let u noe bout it.
Nw i jus cant focus on wat im doin act,
U were right, after i be wit u, u were my priority as u were de energy of de day to let me go thru de whole day,
Bt nw de energy has gone, i feel so LOST,
My heart seems so empty, everyday de foot steps i took out of ur hs feel so heavy, cos i jus so scare i cant c u again.
We use to have so much laughter together, bt nw al tat seems jus vanish~~
Mayb 1day our conversation nt more thn 100 words...Last time we use to talk alot~~
De journey to my work place seems so long, unreachable~~
De music i listen to become so sorrow tat act contains wat i act felt in my heart,
Tears uncontrolably wil drops, whn i jus thk of wat u told me tat nite.

All I noe was i jus wanna be wit u wit happy moment til i leave to UK.
Bt u say u cant do it,cos u dun1 to giv me any more hope.
I realy jus hope for you to giv me de happy memory b4 i left to UK,
I noe i wil miss u hardly over ther..
Bt i wan happy moment which i can put it in my heart as well...

Love was a dangerous game to play with, Whn U're so Involve in it,somethg went wrong, U'll Hurt deeper~~

Saturday, April 17, 2010

~SiLent Hurt~

17/04/2010

Ppl wouldnt noe wat pain tat we feel, whn we tel thm, cos de needle nt poke at their skin neither happening to thm...
Say was easy for thm....

Here I am...listening to Lee Hom- Ni Bu Zai, thkin hw my relationship is mayb almost de same as de story goes...
I tot i shud be de one who loved by ppl, yet end up I be de person who loves ppl.
Nw I und y ppl say we mus be de one who loved by ppl so we will be de happiest person in de world...

De 8th mth d...yet, i stil doesnt feel de love tat i shud from u??
Mayb...U too busy with ur work d??
Mayb...after work u'r so tired til u have no energy to thk bout it anymore...
Mayb...U expect me to und ur circumstances???
Mayb...U feel its nt a need to improve it???
Mayb...Btw us stil haven und each other???
Mayb...Cos we dun have our own private time together???
Mayb...Is due to our lack of communication???
May...tis...Mayb...tat...alot of Maybes~~

Mon-Fri work..sumtimes Sat oso....
Bt whn u no work,we seldom go paktoh d...cos u wil say u tired...wanna rest...ok tats fine wit me..cos i und...i nvr force u...
Bt wit ur frens...u nvr seems tired...cos u say u meet thm less...ok..tats oso fine...
Bt...have u ever feel hw i feel??
Mayb..de way u show ur love is diff gua...which i stil nid time to adjust to it...

I LOVE de way tat U're CONFIDENT in urself,
Bt tat oso makes me feel insecured from de inside...
I'm goin UK for 3mths+ in June...do u noe hw i would feel??
I noe I shud be confidence in u~~
Bt...den de way u show it,jus makes me no faith in it...can u gt it???

I realy can c de Future whn im wit u~~which i dun c it on other guy,
bt can u jus giv me de confidence to jus keep HANG ON!!!

Wat i do jus keep to myself which nobody could act und...
Haih~~>.<

Friday, January 22, 2010

End Of 2nd yr 2nd sem of my Coll Life~~@@

22/01/2010
Today..last day of my finals...Integrated Marketing Comm...It was a tough paper which i almost tot i could crap...bt seems lik nothg came out although in the morning i drank a bottle of BRANDS chic essence~~XD

Wake up at around 4.30am forcing my eyes to open & study for de last time, took bath around 6am & get ready to catch the bus~~
When i step out of the hs...trying to convince myself izit today FRI???Exam day??almost feel lik it isnt & I Took out my HP to check on de day~~Stated FRI 22/01/10...tellin myself yes...its fri~~correct...ahaha~~

I gt 3days time to study for it...bt din treasure & only start study 2days ago...infront of comp chasing de korean drama Boys over Flowers which is jus de same version of Taiwan Meteors Garden~~Damn...I kept tellin myself to study~~bt de attention is jus on de drama and Bejewel...i became addicted....
Outside de class room we were about to goin~~FUCK!!!!saw a teacher who i hate her vry much & de same time she nvr like me b4~doesnt matter~~its gonna b de last time i c her~~BLek~~=P

Inside de hall....i Look at de question lik thousand of question mark on my head figuring out hw to do..i was so tired i could jus fall asleep on de paper...Bt determination told me i cant~~I wan go UK le....mus atleast pass~~ I nvr left blank on de paper bcos i believe tat jus by simply tembak...at least u gt de chance to have some marks if correct...hehe~~^^

Times nt enuf to do all de ques a~~i spent 1hour+ jus on de 1st ques~~god~~den fast fast do all de left ques...hmm...jus hope i could pass la...den i'll b vry thankful jor~~=)
Clock strikes 12.15pm...it was HOLIDAY lu~~woohoo~~bt~~sad tat im leavin coll n cant have bak thos coll life jor~~ I realy loves it~~hanging out around wit YS,bobo them...evryday jus laughter wit frens...assignments..i gonna miss u~~n my teamate who loves last min work~~bt stil v manage to come out de result~~^^

After tat v went to Pizza Hut~~WTF!!PH again??i jus had it ystrdy wit dear~~haha~~cant thk of it...i would have vomit...eating so much of it... Reach ther i cal dear~~he say he's at Ampang n could come over to fetch me~~Wow...good....tot of eating Happy Season geh~~mana tau~~Uturn again go PH bside eat KFC~~zzz~~ahaha~~XD Bt still feel bad leaving my beloved frens behind n din pei thm for de last day~~hmm~~>.< After eating KFC, dear say he wan go Serdang franchisee ther do somethg so drop me at South City Plaza to shop shop sin~~go in...mana tau goin~~De CNY song wah!!lik realy thos cny mood....pi ling pa lang~~so loud~~fuck u no free style~~ahaha~~XD Many shops is close...doesnt c any PArkson sign..so jus take a stroll on de ground floor..n bought somethg tat is buy 1 free 1 item~~hehe~~den dear cal come say 1 pick me jor..so fast..say will go distribute flyers...

Den v go into housing area...park the car 1 side & starts distributin the flyer by walkin....Damn!! de Sun is hot lik in an oven a~~Feel lik i almost Hangus jor le~~bt its fun distributing it wit Dear~~hehe~~both of us dist till i finish sin...den v went off..n he consider off work la...ahaha~~n v go fo CEndol~~ After that...whole body is so exhausted...mentally tired....gosh~~hot lagi~~den v went bak...bath...den lagi go out...go eat Sushi~~wah~~no rest a...till nw~~>.<

I thk i goin to sleep soon after tis...I can do anythg i wan d nw...bt stil misses coll life~~
Wanna start to find job d lo~~The loan to UK oso i duno hw~~ther is so many rules n regulations to be follow n fulfilled n i cant even find de suitable candidate to b my guarantor...haih~~ really duno hw...bt really wish i could go~~>.<

Hmm~~Tired a~~wanna sleep soon~~a new day new start...tomoro can go shopping lo..with dear...hehe~~XD



Monday, January 18, 2010

ScaRE~~>.<

14/01/2010

We been together also 5mths d...although thos period of time u do give me c de face...bt stil tat nite is de most scariest one...

I'm scare of the feeling....cos its coming back~~
When always face ur angry face I become small and dont know what have i done to make you angry again~~I really scare...

That nite after you off work i straight see your tat face again....I tot it will be fine soon...bt u say u wanna fetch me back...the feels is like u dont want to see me tats y u fetch me back...

In the car we doesnt speak a word and my tears jus keep fall from ur house to my house...
Stil you doesnt give me "An Wei". I really so sad bout it...y u are lik stone heart tat time...>.<

When almost reach my house only i DARE to speak to u~~i bring up all my courage...den i ask~~
"Wat have i done wrong??to make u so angry me??"
Bt u jus replied "Nothg, my mood is nt good dun wanna tok bout it"
Wat i ask u jus replied me dun wanna tok bout it...wait i exam finish only say~~

It really makes me think back my past...when you dont wanna say a word..which is very scary~~and then end up~~jus lidat...
Haih~~i really duno wat to do tat time jus askin u...den i remembered that i forgot to take my exam slip cos de day after tat is my exam...
Den u have to turn back to ur home...n say i duno u tomoro exam...
den oni i ask u...izit u dun1 c me oni fetch me bak...u din answer me...

On tat moment...i realy feel lik so Hurt...so...Speechless...i oso duno hw to describe it~~
I told u~i realy dun lik tis kind of situation...I dun1 to c whn i go bak i c my parents quarrel den both of us also quarrel...Still tears falling down from my hs to ur hs....

When reach your home I feel so awkward..bt lastly u smile to me...n ask me dun cry anymore...I feel so relieve...bt stil tears would fall~~
U nvr told me y u angry...n I stil wondering about it....

I realy hope i can und u more....n tis few days...i do learned new thgs bout u~~