~~Ran in2 HIM~~

Never thought after a yr I would ran into him in a mall together with his other half...

Feelings was nt quite heal after all...Hard feelings still there...whn I saw her~~with him...

That time the feel is like..I wanted to see him yet I knew I'll sad if I saw thm both...

Whn I saw him...He was accompanying his gf shopping I guess in weekdays..

Wow..sounds great rite..she was so happy together with him...

He saw me..bt we jus silently say hi without his gf noticing...Thk bak I so wish I could have de courage to jus walk to him & say hi...to see wat's his reaction..

Bt...I didn't..& cant do it!!

Time flies, bt feelings nvr once gt fade...

Every time I pass by those road that we use to drove together, ate together, done thgs together...My mind automatically recalls about him...

Damn...I even went to the place we ate together for that day sushi promo..sittin back the place we sat..Drove to his hs...jus to see his corridor..

My goodness!!!Wat am I thkin??

Hell...this is all so bullshit!!

Come on Maria!!Wake up u bloody asshole!!Stop all this nonsense...

Focus on ur career nw..U stil gt whole lot of quota to catch up!!

Taiwan Bangcock..all waiting...ahaha...

*Pray* *Pray* wish all my quotation all come in sun sun li li...so I can hit my trip quota to Hawaii as well pls lord...=DD

Stress nvr leaves me...

Today we just gt our emergency meeting...Sounds terrible...

Bt jus gt fuck from de division manager..nt a small nag!!Its a realy fuck ur ass to fire type...

Wat we do...look down & thk of wher we go wrong...

She says its nt de figure, its de performance..

Say I'm demotivated nowadays due to my working attitude & sorts...

They thought they put a gd impression & high expectation from me..bt..seems lik i disappointed them...& honestly I really did..I admit..

I don't know where is my passion already...

When starts seeing ppl can sign on de spot, suddenly I feel so stress...Why is all my proposal still cant come in.??

The scolding seems so rude till I feel so down...she says till like I'm ruin all de team...like fuck d become irresponsible...

It might sounds serious, bt it did will affect my manager performance at the end cos its in her quota already..=/

I realy don't know what I want any more at this moment,

Money??Status??

Maybe...both?? Argh...Life is always that hard to make decision...

Haih...bt de oni person I thought of whn I'm so damn down is him...

I rang him up, & he answers...we talked & we laughed..

Feels better after that...Thanks..

I knew he's de one who always make de day whn I'm down, Bt he's nt mine to share though...

Maybe in the future I'll find someone like you, bt this moment I still hiding my heart away to avoid disappointment...

R.E.M.I.N.I.S.C.E.N.C.E

Melaka trip by AMK 1 at last....is successfully accomplished!!!!

After a long plan & de continuous postpone by various of reasonssss....

At last its accomplished with a 2D 1N short trip for the 12 of us...

Its a trip with full consumption on foodsss...what else rite beside the food...??

We're nt realy into the history or buildings though..ahaha.

Its for the gathering...& we started off with chicken rice for the lunch, cendol & Nadeje crepe cake for the dessert & end our dinner with Satay Celup...which I feel jus so so for the sauce...

Nite...we starts la with out drinking session with all de usual mates around...

2 bottles of vodka...sounds possible for us to drink all bt end up oni few are drinkin till late nite, till de last consciousness left in us...

Some are even tired / drunk sleeps so early...Bt...its a satisfactory nite I can say..with all de laughter jus like when we're back in UK...

Aww...I jus miss thos moments alot...=/

However, during this trip my mind seems like fully taken by the reminiscence of him...

I brought along 2 items which he gave me during our last visits 2 yrs ago..

The Hat & the Bracelet...

I dont know y, bt I jus did it...& yeah...I pass by alot places that we went b4 that time...

Places were still the same just like the past 2 yrs, bt jus the people I went with different...

Hmmm...Guess that's de oni thgs he left for me...=)

We end our trip with seafood at Damansara call Lala Cheung...

Guess we were too high expectation on this restaurant till we spend about more thn RM 400 here...

Some of the dish is so so so nt worth that price...

Bt overall its still a satisfactory trip & food....=D

Guess I'm gonna expect more of this kinda trip in the future...Taiwan trip they say...

& I wonder can I realy make it with al my commitments in hands now...Gosh....

Wishes everything goes well for me & hit my target kao kao for nxt yr Hawaii trip...=D

Energetic Work Mood

Why I say that??

I realy dont know what got into me today...since morning till noon...

I'm so damn focus on my job like nvr b4...

Keep calling for appt, rushing my new sales in, calling all my revenue for appt...

Till I even don't dare to believe it's me doin all this...

If only I can be that energetic everyday...I would have alot of appt d...Zzzz...

Today I got to sign a customer on de spot...although its nt a big amount, bt its de satisfaction I gt by signing the client on de spot without follow up...

If everyday got this kinda cust...very fast I can hit my quota d lu...

But...dream can la..Hoping all de proposal I've sent bear some fruits for me la...pls come in..

Rely on u guys to hit my trip Quota d...=D

Sial??

I dont know whether is me sui or am I realy that cha my driving skills...???

My mum was right, in not more thn 1 yr my working time I involve in more thn 5times accident.

3of it is kinda big case...& WTF!!! Evrytime I gonna come out $$ where I want to save it...

Realy FUCK IT!!!

The moment I bang, the 1st thg I thought about is my mum, nt my $$!!

Feel so sorry to her cos she realy took gd care of the car & once its in my hand, it ruined by me...haih..

Sorry alot mum...realy sorry...

Today...Fuck kao de lorry cos scratch & drag my car & also headlamp...

I was lik stunned & even forgot to honk him!!!

Arghhhh....He knew I thk..& he drove fast away...ARGH!!!realy du kao lan!!!

This time...Gonna come out $$ again cos de head lamp broken...n bend in...& also have to spray paint due to last time that accident...

Seems lik nt a smooth yr for driving me...once a mth sure once...

Almost head bang also the other day, lucky de car avoid faster...OMG!!!

It was freaking freaky!!!

Bless me...bless me...bless me...pls...

Meeting

Since last time I don't even like this word MEETING!!!

It kills me inside out....

But...today I just went thru I thk de longest MEETING in my life I guess!!! 4hours in de morning + 2more hours in de evening...

Starts from 7.30am -11.30 am, from 5.30pm - 7.30pm.

The meeting for me is all about commitment that I have to commit for this whole canvass.where our team stand, individual position & sales update..

Basically I have to achieve about 330k in order to hit company quota & trip to Hawaii & additional KPI quota till 450k...Still wonder about my ability now.

I knew I'm not a person who will commit into something that I'm nt keen on for very long...& I started to feel bored in this job.

But when I thought of my manager & people who look at me & feel I'm thos success type of people, put hope on me, it stresses me...& I only have 1 choice which is to go on..

Like what my GM say, once you committed " You're just like a 8mth pregnant woman which must deliver the baby out"

Its kinda true though...

Always thought I never will went into sales field, bt at last end up on it.

But only sales field can give you the $$ which is more than just working a regular work, & I'm sure this company can give me what I want, with condition I fully commit into it & hit the sales quota.

However..in sales field its not easy to survive if you cant stand on the stress & I'm in one of the most powerful or I can say a very successful sales girl which very success & also set a very high standard on her division.

She realy got her way, that's y she have today. Must realy learn something from her personally to know her success secret I thk. =D

Hope I can realy got alot of real businesses comin in with dozens of proposal I've sent!!!

All De Best To Me!!!

Car Accident

Today is realy a very very suai day for me...

I dont know is it I too believe those karma or wat...

Maybe yesterdy is Guan Yin Ma bday & I didnt go to pray or wat...cos I'm de "anak angkat" we say...according to Chinese believe...

Jus one second close my eyes cos I'm so damn sleepy...& there it goes...BANG!!! my car into de lorry back...WTF!!!! is my 1st word...Damn...

Lucky the lorry jus de steel break abit..& lucky the uncle is so kind he asked me to repair my own car & he repair his own...OOoo...Thank GOD!!!!

Once I bang in tat moment, al I thk of is only my mum...nt my $$...cos its her car...moreover I feel so guilty that I didnt realy take good care of her car...

If it's my car...I would have gone mad as well...

That's y I didnt blame her...

The bill was gonna be a burden again...no more savings...haih...

All I can say is sorry mum!!!I realy guilty....=(

My other 2 frens oso met in a accident today...almost similar as mine...

It's realy nt a gd day to drive....

Finally

I make up my mind to tell him everythg I wanted...

& I got my answer...

It was kinda heartache at first when I open his profile & saw that I cant see his wall post anymore...

I knew this is de end...

I nvr regret that I've told him hw I feel...

Because with this action...I gt de answer...& leave me with no more guessing game again...

I'm glad...bt no denial tat I'm kinda sad as well...to lose this person who I once like...

& I realy feel like telling you..

"Thanks for all de wonderful memories, & I'm glad to have known u as a fren"

We will once again be 2 stranger who met but separate at last... =(

Met Him Unexpectedly

Never in my mind, I tot will saw u at thos places...never even cross my mind...

What if u met de person u lik unexpectedly with his EX??

What u'll feel....???

Actually de feelin is familiar...bt yet...still hurts when I encounter it jus now...

He try to explain....bt wat more to explain??

I saw it all...

I jus wanted to HUG u & say I MISS u,

Bt she's ther...therefore i RESPECT her...

Nvrmind...mayb it's fated to be like tis...

Mayb it's fated for me to saw u & wake up..."dun dream again idiot!!!"

Everythg's fated....=/

Changes or Changed??

Is it I'm de one who is changing constantly??

Or...U're de one who is changing??

Is it both of us has change??

Or...Is it our environment factor have changed us??

Clearly known that I myself keep insist believing its still exist yet in de surface,

it's clearly stated " Hello~~~dun u c de changes??"

De affections we once shared has gone,

De laugh we use to have had gone,

De passion we have for each other has also gone...

Watever we use to exp together seems nvr gonna come back again....

I jus cant stop thkin " things will never be the way they used to be" which hurt the most...

Which I have to slowly learn to accept the changes that is taking place...without crying....

We both know where our identities lies...

But I noe all tis while...I've been fightin for wat I love...& at least I fight for it...so I wont regret in de end....

And so be it...This is the answer...I learn to accept & move on~~

So sorry I've been appearing in your life...

I dont know whether I bring rainbow to your life...but you certainly makes my life more colorful with your existence...

I thank you for that =)

LIFE

I always believe in this quote "Appreciate ur loved ones before they left u one day, and u have no chance to meet them nor tok wit thm de thgs u always wanted to say"

Grandma....was always just lying down on her bed since stroke last yr...She cant tok well, nor remember us clearly sometimes...

Stil remember last time whn she was stil healthy, she would have tok to me....bt im jus too busy wit my own thgs...not at home all de time....

Whn she ill, oso i seldom goin n c her o tok to her...

Today....early in de morning around 7.40 am when my alarms ring...i heard de maid shout to my parents say "ah ma sudah tidak bernafas"

Shock....i cal my sis n we went to her room immediately...

Bt...she already stop breathing...

Tat time... suddenly...I thought of alot of thgs I wanna tell her...bt...nw..I gt no chance anymore...

Den...REGRET tis word came about in de mind...

Shud have care bout her more,

Shud spend some time to listen to wat she wanna say,

Shud have visit her more even she's in de bed...

Shud hav tis...Shud hav tat...

Bt...so many shud hav...oso no more chance d...

Wat we wanna tel her...jus tell her thru de incense stick...wat de hell....

She pass away peacefully...Guess she already have her wish or unfinish business fulfill in this living world...& ready to cross over to another world...

Cousins and aunts start comin...whn starts to wear for her al de jewellery...people starts to cry...

Cant stand...oso cry out...

Ceremony was held....whole day was jus praying....and only can say...hope...

Ah ma....U'll have a better life in the other world....bless ya..n happy always...

I'm sorry to ignore u whn u're ther,

Sory that I nvr had de time for u,

Sory that I nvr visit u often whn u sick....

Sory for evrythg.....Bless you ah ma....

So peeps out ther, if u have any words or thgs u wanna say to them or do it with them, do it now!!!before u REGRET!!!

Dun wait till u nid to talk to thm thru incense stick....tat would be no meanin after all...=(

Quote of the day:-

People say you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you’d lose it.