WAKE UP!!!!!

Duno y sudenly i feel myself nt in reality lidat....
I'm in UK...although ady almost 3weeks here....i still dun believe...
Y ha....??
Bt sudenly when we're after dinner...YS say dun u feel sad we stil hav 2more mths here oni...
Ya....sudenly i feel like...ya ha...abit sad...dun feel lik goin bak M'sia...
Although i realy miss my family n frens in m'sia...
Bt here seems lik a fresh start of evrythg...rite??

Helo...Maria...pls wake up lo ok!!!
U're at UK d....wat u thkin sumur??
Treasure tis moment more than anythg else....
Gt a Degree & make ur parents proud of u!!!
& den enjoy life den bak Msia find a gd job & start to pay up ur debt!!!Argh...de hardest part!!
Ahaha.....tats de cycle of life rite???XD

Emo~I've been living in tat world too long....
I can gt up...bt depend on myself whether i want o nt oni...
Bt den after Ys told me de details...
I shud gt up nw & move on!!!Shudnt put too much at 1st...shud have listen to my fren..
Nw...I shud~~
Nt to look back cos i had a better future waiting for me...
Nt to put too much cos i noe at de end, de suffer one would be me again....
I dun wan it to happen again..It's lik a endless dark world...that covers all over me..Fuck!!!

So~~Maria,U shud noe wat u shud do nw rite??
Gt ur fatty ass up & start walkin to de future..pls...
Ahaha...Thanks to my dear fren who und me.....support me....realy thanks...touch...
Cos thy've been thru all de rough moment with me...
Thanks alot Yok-Ke-San!!!XD

Love Game

Love game is a vry dangerous to play with especially when its concern with ur heart.
So v jus gotta be very careful in tis game....

De 1st & de most important rule is : Never Fall In Love easily!!
( Damn!!!Bt I always fail to do so)

Argh....I jus wanted to be happy for once...pls...do let me....
Dun torture me ok ma....
Jus let me go if u're nt so into me...pls~~
I scare of fallin into tis trap again n again...
Oni my frens noe hw hard it is for me to stand up again...
So...pls let me...stay away from de hole longer....

I wanted to love u more,
Show u more~~
Bt I'm scare~~realy...
U made me feel insecure wit ur acts...
Damn!!! I jus hate myself rite nw...realy...
Miss u...bt i noe i canot put too much in...
Den i suffer myself here....Wonderin hw u feel...>.<

Discomfort

I dun care,
I dun wanna noe,
I dun wanna feel,
I dun wanna hear,
I dun wanna see,
I dun wanna noe anythg bout u anymore.....
It jus makes me suffer.....
I tot wit tis thinkin i had let u go....bless u...

Bt whn ur news appear in my fb page stated " Au went from being "single" to "in a relationship."
Suddenly...I feel so gloomy, so down....
I cant help myself to comment wrote the congrats words to u~~
After tat all I wanna do is jus cry in de rain....so tat no 1 can noe wat im feelin nw....
Thkin mus u do tat??
Bt I noes u well,u mus had found her oni u decide to change de status,
Last time whn we're together u nvr change....
She wil be ur future d....

I smile as happy as possible,
I laugh as hard as I can,
I be who I wanna be which is me,
I found back de old me,
Bt y....whn its bout u, i become so weak....
I noe deep down thr will always be u inside....jus I din show it out....

Whn de world thks tat I'm realy happy wit +ve attitude,
Bt Im de oni 1 who noe hw I feels inside....

All I can do is jus bless u,wish u n her both happy....All de best in ur work as well....
Pls take care....she'll be ther to take care of u as well...Who am I to worry rite??

Dream Come True^^

Its Sun morning in Sheffield nw....
I stil dun believe i act at UK d....

Jus lik 2days ago i'm stil in M'sia...bt nw..UK...
I miss my family back ther...& oso frens...
We have time difference of 7hours so i'm stil trying to adapt....
Its oni fries,chic all meat here to eat..gosh....
Ystrdy eat a pack of maggi mee wit de prawn paste my mum made...Yummy....although its jus a simple 1...misses my mom cook as well...>.<

Ahaha...however de life here is lik peaceful quiet...with de cold weather which I love it vry much...^^
We gonna start our orientation tomoro....den we got de chance to look at our Uni~~hehe...abit excited about it...

De thg here r lik damn cheap if we're earning de salary here....cos its lik oni 2-3pound for 1 clothes...if u can find it...
Its a shoppin heaven here.....cos i jus bought Britney Spears 100ml perfume for oni 19.90 pound le....which equal to RM 100 lo....so its quite worth it la....=D

The scenery here is wonderful...abit feel dun1 go back tim....=D

Argh...my camera gt no memory card reader....nw i oso duno hw...de pic inside canot transfer to comp...damn...seems lik i jus gotta use my hp to take pic....haih~~so sad....>.<
Dun hav cable o anythg...damn dao~~

Its oni 7.30 am here....n i canot sleep d...evry1 seem wake up to on9~~ahaha....
Nvrmind..its SUN...we gonna explore more about Sheffield ltr....

少了一个人

朋友聚会吵闹的快乐 在她们离开以后变稀薄
走路回家 回像山洞的窝 突然渴望有人 能来接我
泡著热水在浴室赖著 思念却也被滚烫冒烟了
最后的简讯 看到能背了 多久没有再联络 一想还是痛

少了一个人宠爱我
朋友的爱 成分就是不同
最难过 是笑著面对被羡慕自由
练很久的成熟 也快遮掩不住 寂寞

妈妈在电话裏挂念我 上次欲言又止她还记得
喜欢装没事 其实最累了 但我清楚很多事 哭了也没用

少了一个人拥抱我
那种拥抱 能够忘了所有
两个人 就算下雪后赤脚逆著风
也不觉得冰冻 还笑得比阳光 炽热

少了一个人懂得我
能够体会 我倔强又脆弱
不记仇 温柔原谅我情绪太波动
用泪光舍不得 融化我累积的 寂寞
很固执 无条件爱我从来没变过
在大吵的时候 会抱著我 沉默 不动

Really misses u so much~~haih~~=(

你找到幸福了

You're happy cos u've found ur happiness
b4 I go,u already gt urself a new one...
Bt yet I'm stil here hangin although I clearly noe u'll nvr come bak to me...
U realy turn so fast till i nvr gt a chance to react...

Wat i regret de most is I already knew the prob bt yet I so insist on goin on,nvr tok bout tis matter...
I angry de most is that u didnt even giv me a 2nd chance to make tis relationship right~~& straight away jump to the other person...

She's de one u love nw...
She would gt all de attention she nid from u nw...
She gt ur care...
She oso have ur love...

Bt y...whn u say we r nt in de same path...u so sure that she's in de same path wit u??
Doesnt we oso been thru de way u treating her nw??
Dont we oso have happy moments for u to remember??
Y u had to be so cruel towards me??
De way u treating me nw is nt de way u make me angry so tat i can leave u early...,
It jus make me more sad & left oni sour memories that i can gain from here...realy...>.<

Even ur sis started to treat me tat way...Fierce to me...
Lik I'm de one who betray this relationship...
Am I nw??
Who turn his back on me & ran to others whn I realy Loves him & needed him de most??
Y am I treated lidat??
I gt no choice bt to stand tough~~
Whn i go bak i feel so stress to face her...
I rather bak late...or if u're ther oni i bak...

Nvrmind al tat I told myself...
Thgs are diff from de past nw...
I noe i have to move on by myself...
I noe i canot rely on u anymore...although i realy nid it...
I Stil have my dear family & frens wit me...

Bt..i realy wanted to let u noe...I realy put in 101% into this relationship~~=(
My fren told me...nvr put in 100% if de relationship is nt more thn a Year...I guess its a lesson...

♥那么近却又那么远的感觉

As a fren was wat u told me u wanna be~~
I couldnt realy accept it,yet i mus force myself to accept tat tis is de truth happening.
I saw u was much happier lidat, I feel happy,
Bt same time I feel sad y u can let it go so fast & easy~~
Dear no sad whn u decide tis decision ma??
Is there realy no love for me from u??

U started to drink again...
Bt wit ur colleague which is gal~~
I noe i already have no right to be jealous o angry.
Bt tat's exactly wat i'm doin whn u say u wan go movie, dinner wit thm.
I would thk y dear last time wit me canot lidat, bt y nw...
Haih~~oni dear noe de answer...
If I'm was de one who do tat go out wit guys would dear feel sad ma??

My heart feel heavy day by day when de day pass~~
Cos i noe i'm leavin you soon...
I realy dont hope it would pass so fast...
I noe i have to learn de hard way to let u go~~
Bt I'm afraid dear...I so scare....
Although u told me u wil stil care for me.
Bt after all tis will u contact me???
I nvr wanna lose contact wit u~~

Tis few days i consider myself vry clever d...cos i manage to nt cal dear during my free time...which last time i always did...
Its awkward, cos usually i wil cal dear if anythg...tellin u al de exciting thg happen..bt nw i cant d...
I jus have to keep it to myself...

I feel so suffer...bt yet i noe tis is de step i nid to take cos I ♥ You.
I noe all u did was nt to let me put hope on u~~
Bt u noe its impossible...
All i wish was jus tat we spend tis few weeks happily & then we recover from our past~~
I nvr expect u'll leave me as I stil gt alot of thg I wanna do with u together hand in handin future....
I always convince myself tat " We jus met at the wrong timing, Path was nt de same as we aim for different thgs "