New Life🙏

Starting all anew is not easy for everyone...
I love new places new ppl but due to the situation I'm saying rite now...I have to endure it although I seriously hate it!!

Been in sg for almost 3weeks now,
Culture, places,ppl, food...I still adapting to it...
I miss my family,my place n frens back there as well...
But for a better life ahead I gotta take this step to see wher it goes in my life...which another stage of life...

Meeting new ppl everyday...

Been surviving till this far with my left over money after paying everythg $267.
Appreciate those frens who helped me when I'm in my bad times in terms of financial & their caring.

I got my paycheck today!! But I get shock of my life when thy only pay for the half mth I worked last mth instead of the whole mth..
Fuck!! I guess I have to struggle again this mth..loan, family all haven pay... Seriously a shitty mth!!

This company really eat shit one...sigh...

Hold on!! U can do it!!! 💪👏👌

F.A.I.T.H

I'm not sure anymore with this long waiting, vain promises, non visualize kind of love...

Waiting was so long as if it goes by day by day,mth by mth...
Promises u once made had become so weak,
Person u once use to be...I doesn't know u anymore...

U said love was not based on negative thkin & have faith on each other,
U said I always just thought of my own feelings, nvr thought of urs...
But am I de only one here in this relationship??
If I do have negative thkin, don't u feel u have to be responsible for part of it??

I'm afraid that I'll get hurt of the same thg again...
Yes, u promise but promises ain't nothg if no action.
I'm holding on to nothg...Please und...

Every now & thn I hv this feeling...this thoughts.
That u led me on,den leave me halfway,
& now I Duno whether to continue walking or stand there to wait for u...
I Duno where to look for u anymore...😢
Ppl passby & told me "Are u sure he's comin back?? Cos it's real far from here"

Faith?? I lost it somewhere...

Feels Like a FAILURE

Its 2012 Feb goin to end it mth soon,

March is marching in sooner thn my breath wei...

Yet I feel like I done nothg that I can say "I'm PROUD of myself done that"

Feels like a total FAILURE in life...

A FAILURE in job, quota nt accomplish yet, left bout 2more mths to hit the HAWAII quota...

All quotation seems neverending result!!Damn!!

A FAILURE in love relationship, hide myself at home during Valentine Day, & my mum keep askin me "Why no1 DATE U out??" I was lik..."duh~~no1 means no1 lo...let it be natural"

A FAILURE in my EQ control...feeling all thos shitty feeling al the time...

A TOTAL FAILURE in my family support, cant even provide a gd life to my family as the eldest!! Screw myself seriously....

FAILURE in my decision making & bravery to step up!!

All etc etc FAILURESSS that will continue non stop...

How to overcome all this FAILURE & become a new person??BRAND NEW!!

Totally New New...New York NEW~New Year that NEW!!

Where is my RESOLUTION la??? SERIOUSLY I DONE NOTHG TO ACHIEVE IT...

Help me~~realy FML!!

NOTHG come smoothly....bless me pls!!

~~Ran in2 HIM~~

Never thought after a yr I would ran into him in a mall together with his other half...

Feelings was nt quite heal after all...Hard feelings still there...whn I saw her~~with him...

That time the feel is like..I wanted to see him yet I knew I'll sad if I saw thm both...

Whn I saw him...He was accompanying his gf shopping I guess in weekdays..

Wow..sounds great rite..she was so happy together with him...

He saw me..bt we jus silently say hi without his gf noticing...Thk bak I so wish I could have de courage to jus walk to him & say hi...to see wat's his reaction..

Bt...I didn't..& cant do it!!

Time flies, bt feelings nvr once gt fade...

Every time I pass by those road that we use to drove together, ate together, done thgs together...My mind automatically recalls about him...

Damn...I even went to the place we ate together for that day sushi promo..sittin back the place we sat..Drove to his hs...jus to see his corridor..

My goodness!!!Wat am I thkin??

Hell...this is all so bullshit!!

Come on Maria!!Wake up u bloody asshole!!Stop all this nonsense...

Focus on ur career nw..U stil gt whole lot of quota to catch up!!

Taiwan Bangcock..all waiting...ahaha...

*Pray* *Pray* wish all my quotation all come in sun sun li li...so I can hit my trip quota to Hawaii as well pls lord...=DD

Stress nvr leaves me...

Today we just gt our emergency meeting...Sounds terrible...

Bt jus gt fuck from de division manager..nt a small nag!!Its a realy fuck ur ass to fire type...

Wat we do...look down & thk of wher we go wrong...

She says its nt de figure, its de performance..

Say I'm demotivated nowadays due to my working attitude & sorts...

They thought they put a gd impression & high expectation from me..bt..seems lik i disappointed them...& honestly I really did..I admit..

I don't know where is my passion already...

When starts seeing ppl can sign on de spot, suddenly I feel so stress...Why is all my proposal still cant come in.??

The scolding seems so rude till I feel so down...she says till like I'm ruin all de team...like fuck d become irresponsible...

It might sounds serious, bt it did will affect my manager performance at the end cos its in her quota already..=/

I realy don't know what I want any more at this moment,

Money??Status??

Maybe...both?? Argh...Life is always that hard to make decision...

Haih...bt de oni person I thought of whn I'm so damn down is him...

I rang him up, & he answers...we talked & we laughed..

Feels better after that...Thanks..

I knew he's de one who always make de day whn I'm down, Bt he's nt mine to share though...

Maybe in the future I'll find someone like you, bt this moment I still hiding my heart away to avoid disappointment...

R.E.M.I.N.I.S.C.E.N.C.E

Melaka trip by AMK 1 at last....is successfully accomplished!!!!

After a long plan & de continuous postpone by various of reasonssss....

At last its accomplished with a 2D 1N short trip for the 12 of us...

Its a trip with full consumption on foodsss...what else rite beside the food...??

We're nt realy into the history or buildings though..ahaha.

Its for the gathering...& we started off with chicken rice for the lunch, cendol & Nadeje crepe cake for the dessert & end our dinner with Satay Celup...which I feel jus so so for the sauce...

Nite...we starts la with out drinking session with all de usual mates around...

2 bottles of vodka...sounds possible for us to drink all bt end up oni few are drinkin till late nite, till de last consciousness left in us...

Some are even tired / drunk sleeps so early...Bt...its a satisfactory nite I can say..with all de laughter jus like when we're back in UK...

Aww...I jus miss thos moments alot...=/

However, during this trip my mind seems like fully taken by the reminiscence of him...

I brought along 2 items which he gave me during our last visits 2 yrs ago..

The Hat & the Bracelet...

I dont know y, bt I jus did it...& yeah...I pass by alot places that we went b4 that time...

Places were still the same just like the past 2 yrs, bt jus the people I went with different...

Hmmm...Guess that's de oni thgs he left for me...=)

We end our trip with seafood at Damansara call Lala Cheung...

Guess we were too high expectation on this restaurant till we spend about more thn RM 400 here...

Some of the dish is so so so nt worth that price...

Bt overall its still a satisfactory trip & food....=D

Guess I'm gonna expect more of this kinda trip in the future...Taiwan trip they say...

& I wonder can I realy make it with al my commitments in hands now...Gosh....

Wishes everything goes well for me & hit my target kao kao for nxt yr Hawaii trip...=D

Energetic Work Mood

Why I say that??

I realy dont know what got into me today...since morning till noon...

I'm so damn focus on my job like nvr b4...

Keep calling for appt, rushing my new sales in, calling all my revenue for appt...

Till I even don't dare to believe it's me doin all this...

If only I can be that energetic everyday...I would have alot of appt d...Zzzz...

Today I got to sign a customer on de spot...although its nt a big amount, bt its de satisfaction I gt by signing the client on de spot without follow up...

If everyday got this kinda cust...very fast I can hit my quota d lu...

But...dream can la..Hoping all de proposal I've sent bear some fruits for me la...pls come in..

Rely on u guys to hit my trip Quota d...=D